Dusted Memories


I just woke up from a dream I was having...

I looked around and everything was exactly as I remember it from my childhood.
The old shoe boxes where my grandma would keep nick-nacks that to me were like treasures,
a thimble, variety color thread spools, buttons, a scarf, prayer cards of saints and virgins,
pieces of lace, etc.
All just as how it was when I lived with my maternal grandmother back in Mexico.

The embroidery pillowcases that my mother had made for us with the two little bluebirds 
kissing surrounded by tiny colorful flowers... red, pink, yellow, every beautiful color she had
probably used from her embroidery floss collection.
The pillowcases on the pillows nicely sat on the bed that I shared with my grandmother...

"buelita, buelita, I am still so cold!"
I used to tell my grandma every single winter night after she would tuck me in bed covering my
little body with the three warm blankets that we had.
"Be patient, you'll get warm soon." she would always tell me, and you know what?
she was always right.

Soon after I would fall asleep feeling so warm under the blankets 
in our one-bedroom home that felt just as cold as the outside.

As a child, I suffered from leg cramps from an illness that I suffered at six months old.
 These cramps were so painful that often I would wake up screaming and crying in pain.
My grandma would make little crosses on my legs while she prayed so they would go away.
Sometimes they would stop within a minute or two, other times it would take longer, much-much
longer. I always noticed my grandmother getting teary eyes every time this would happen and it would
make me wonder if she was feeling the pain too, now I know she was, 
seeing me suffer must have been so hard for her.

But back to my dream.
Everything was in place, down to the smallest of things.
However, most of the things were covered in dust and debris.
It looked as if our house had been torn down and the wall pieces were scattered all over, but that wasn't
the case. The brick walls still stood up.

I stretched my left arm and gently touched the things in the room as I walked around looking at
everything. I was smiling and crying. I was feeling happy and sad.

All these things that once were my grandmothers and my treasures now looked old and
abandoned. My grandmother was long gone and I had grown up and had never returned to our little home. 
Suddenly a great feeling of wanting to rescue them overcame me. I wanted to take as many of
our beautiful treasures with me. However, I just couldn't bring myself to take anything. I felt I needed
to leave everything as it was, just how my grandmother had left it.

I slowly made my way to the yellow wooden chair where my grandma used to sit and sat down.
From there, as tears rolled down my cheeks I continued to watch in silence the little home where
we had shared so many beautiful memories together, now lonely and covered in dust.

Thanks For Reading!
Much Love,
Lori Novo

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