May you sail far to the far fields of fortune
With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet
And may you need never to banish misfortune
May you find kindness in all that you meet.
-lyrics
Hello Beautiful World!
After my mother passed away years ago, all her belongings were passed down to me.
As I went through some of the boxes I found twelve letters that my father had written to my
mother after I was born. Wanting to respect their privacy since they were
written for my mother, I placed them in a drawer. Days passed
and my curiosity to know what was written in them grew every day. So finally, one day I
decided to go ahead and read them.
I carefully arranged them by dates and sat by my favorite window and as I begin to read I realized
that not once did my father mention me. According to the dates of these letters, I would have been
just a baby not even a year old at the time. Letter after letter, not a single time did he ask "How's the
baby?" or anything about me. These letters were more of a man that wanted to control my mother's
life by ordering her what and what not to do. I stopped reading after the eighth one and burned them.
I wasn't really surprised by what I had read.
I grew up without a father but I always wanted to meet him at least once. I always dreamt of
shaking his hand but he never had any interest in getting to know me. I could never understand
why my father didn't want me since my mother always spoke of him as the most wonderful man
she had ever met. However, after reading his letter I discovered that he was far from being the
wonderful man my mother always made him out to be.
My mother not once did she speak any ill word about him. She always made sure that I grew up
with a good image of my father. Now I know that it was her way of protecting me. Her love for me
was so great that she didn't want me to grow up feeling any hate or resentment for this man.
She wanted me to grow up with a heart free of those negative feelings that rejection and
abandonment can bring. I can honestly say that thanks to my mother I learned not to carry any
anger or hate for him or any other person.
Reading the letters was not a disappointment for me since my father was never part of my life.
But it would have been nice to see some kind of acknowledgment of my existence. It was as
if I was never born. However, in those letters, I continued to see what an exceptional and
loving woman my mother was and continues to be in my life. She continues to be my greatest
inspiration of strength, love, happiness, and forgiveness.
Thanks For Reading!
Much love,
-Lori Novo
❤
- A Lullaby -
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