"Baby to err is human, to forgive is divine & you are a goddess bodhisattva Muah!"
"Ah ne'er so dire a Thirst of Glory boast,
Nor in the Critick let the Man be lost!
Good-Nature and Good-Sense must ever join;
To err is Humane; to Forgive, Divine."
- English poet Alexander Pope
Hello Beautiful World!
While being a merciful being is one of the most beautiful things to be, it can also
be one of the hardest things for some. Why is it so hard to forgive those who have hurt us in
some way? Aren't we all humans very much capable of hurting others as well?
As I always say, to hold anger and the pain that this brings only poisons the heart.
A heart that is poisoned can't feel complete love and happiness. So by forgiving those that hurt us
we begin to heal and suddenly we begin to see all the beauty that is all around us, and we begin
to feel all the warmth not only from our own heart but in the hearts of others. Forgiveness is truly
a double gift, it is a gift we give to others but it is a gift that we give to ourselves as well.
I am the kind of person who doesn't hold on to any anger. I have learned to forgive others
and to forget. If we forgive but we can't forget, then, the beauty of forgiveness is not complete
that is the way I see it. One must truly and completely let go in order to move on. Sometimes
those who hurt us don't have any interest in asking for our forgiveness but we must give it
to them anyway, in a way, is so beautiful because we are giving away one of the most beautiful
gifts in life without expecting anything in return, we just give it out of love.
But how about when we must forgive ourselves for something we feel guilty of?
This was the case with me not too long ago. While I was able to forgive others, when it came
to forgiving myself I just couldn't do it. I was carrying so much guilt for my mother's death.
You see, my mother had lived for over thirteen years with me and my children. Then things got
hard at our home and she moved out to her own place. My mother was sick and I always worried
that she had no one there to take care of her. One day when I called her to see how she
was doing, she said she was fine and that she had some visitors so we had to hang up the phone
right away. She sounded ok, even happy. The next day, early in the morning I heard a knock
on the door, I opened it and it was the police, they were there to notify me that my mother
had passed away during the night. She had fallen into the tub in her bathroom and hit her head.
For years I carried so much guilt. I kept blaming myself for her death. I couldn't understand
why I didn't stop her from moving out in the first place. I kept thinking of my poor mother
all alone when she had fallen. I wasn't there to help her. No one was. She had died alone and I
couldn't forgive myself for that.
The guilt that I was carrying was so much that I often would fall into deep depression.
I felt I didn't deserve to be loved because I had been a horrible daughter and so I would push people
away. The guilt was killing me.
Finally, one day as I was crying and I kept repeating "perdoname mami, perdoname mami..."
(forgive me mom) I started to feel like a warm blanket covering my whole being,
and the heaviness I had been feeling in my heart for years, slowly started to fade away...
Sometimes the forgiveness that we need is deep inside of us. We just need to listen
to the loving memories of those that are gone but that had left behind all the love and all the
forgiveness that we are looking for so we can continue in life. Remembering my mother's
smile is knowing that my mother would never hold me responsible for her passing.
I know my mother loves me and she wouldn't want me to carry that guilt.
I also know now, that while I wasn't there to hold her hand when she died, she was truly
never alone, angels surrounded her and held her hand for me.
And this is how I learned to forgive myself.
Thanks for reading my beautiful people!
Much Love,
Lori Novo
♥
Credits
Sintiklia - Hair Faithe
AG. Siren Eyes Gacha - Catwa - 04
GIZ SEORN: Ember Dress
Maitreya Mesh Body
Model & Photographer Lori Novo
❁
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