COMMENTARY
Hello Beautiful World!
What a rollercoaster of a Second Life I've been having in the last few weeks. I have probably gone
through every possible emotion a human can feel. Everything from happiness to fear and hate and
everything in between. Now hate is the emotion that I hate the most, even more than fear.
Hate is the most dangerous emotion for any human to have in the heart. It is a poison that
would eventually consume all that is good bringing absolute misery to life. That is why I have never
allowed it to stay in me, there's just no room for it in my life. I prefer to replace it with love which is the
most beautiful and powerful emotion to live with. While hate brings forth darkness, love brings forth
life, light, hope, and happiness.
But with everything that has been happening to me lately what have I learned?
I have learned a few things that will help me continue my Second Life journey with a better
understanding of why people do what they do or say what they say.
Sometimes we need to step back and listen to ourselves, in this case, read what I have written,
and figure out the problem and then figure out the solution to that problem.
So the main problem for me is the daily disrespect I endure from men.
I used to be a bit feisty in the past and didn't mind having occasional confrontations with them
whenever I felt disrespected even though I knew it was best to just block them and move on.
But I had never been one to remain quiet and look or walk away when someone, including myself,
is being mistreated. I am that person that will always get involved to help or protect someone else.
I have done it in the past in my real life. I have done it many times in the children's virtual world
where I used to blog before. And I continue to do it in Second Life now. This has created problems
for me that I am left to deal with after the fact. Still, I never regretted stepping up to
aid someone even if I had to pay the price later. I was strong and I would stand my ground and not
retreat until I felt I had done my part to help someone.
Now, I am no longer strong to fight the bad guys. I can no longer defend others or myself even
when I want to. I feel tired to fight any battles. So one of the lessons I learned is that it is ok
to look and walk away from the bad guys. Sometimes it is wise to retreat in silence in order to
have peace especially when we are already fighting a personal battle within ourselves, for me,
that would be my health. So from this point on, I will start blocking right away anyone that
disrespects me in any way.
Steppenwolf (steppen.crescendo): yu wont be able to make them be friendly anyway,
they are aggressive just to get your attention
Steppenwolf (steppen.crescendo): attention is a very valuable thing in short supply, and the more
beautiful the woman the more valuable her attention
Steppenwolf (steppen.crescendo): so don't give it to anyone who is disrespectful to you baby
Thank you my love. <3
Lesson one learned.
Now, another thing that I learned is that in fact, I can't change the way these men treat women.
I don't have that power. I have no control over their behavior and the things they say. The only
real power that I have is over my own life. While I can't change the situation that happens, I can
choose how to deal with the situation. That is where I have total control and full power, over my
reaction, my action, my mentality, my decision, that is power!
I will never be able to stop men from disrespecting women, but I can begin by stopping wasting my
attention and time trying to do it. Instead, I'll direct my attention to the people that are truly worth my time.
Lesson two learned.
Now the final lesson I learned is understanding these men. Why are they the way they are and say the
things they say without realizing how humiliating and hurtful they make us feel.
I figured that maybe some of these men are truly just trying to give a sincere compliment to women,
but they are just not using the right words in doing it so. This could be because of the way they grew up,
their surroundings, etc., it could be many other factors. While the term "b*tch" may be very offensive to
most women, to them it might just be a daily word they use without no ill intention or
disrespectful meaning behind it.
Now this brings me back to lesson two.
While we don't have control over what these men say, we definitely have no control at all over how we
would like them to compliment us. They may be throwing a whole bunch of degrading and disrespectful
words at us while they are thinking we will be receiving the compliment positively. While some words
might offend some women, they might not offend others. Men will continue complimenting
every woman the same way, because that it's their normal way of doing so and they know no other way.
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SK (silverize): u want my advice
Lori Novo: yes
SK (silverize): take it as a compliment )
SK (silverize): instead of being offended
SK (silverize): laugh on how obnoxious the thing is
SK (silverize): if u know what i mean
SK (silverize): but being mad of what others say
SK (silverize): u got no control over it
SK (silverize): humanity will never be good ... it's a lost cause Lori :P
Now I think my good friend SK is very wise with his words. He also agrees with me that we have no
control over other people. And I do agree with him that is better to laugh instead of cry at the obnoxious
things that come out of these men's mouths. I however don't know if I can take the disrespect that they
give me as compliments. But one thing is for sure, I will try to give them the respect that they do not
give me by trying to understand why they behave and say the things they say. This is not to excuse them
but to help me somehow better deal with the way they treat me. This will help me know that is not
because of who I am or the way I look that brings out the disrespect in them, but because of them, their
upbringing, their surroundings, and the mentality they feed on that block them from seeing that there
are other better ways to treat those around them, especially women.
Lesson three learned.
Thanks For Reading My Beautiful People!
Much love,
Lori Novo
♥
Credits On Me
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