The Silence

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Shhhhhh.....

Do you hear that?

That is the sound of silence...
dead silence.

You know,
not the kind of silence that can bring peace to the soul,
but the wicked kind that sends chills of uneasiness...

loneliness

and fear through your whole body
reaching the deepest part of your being.

Then I noticed the darkness
covering every inch of my living space

like a widows black veil
prohibiting any chance of light-life to come in.

BRRROOOMMMM!

Thunder in the distance interrupts this silence

and I am no longer sure what is more terrifying to me now,

Is it the silence that was tormenting my ears,
or the roaring scream of an angry sky?

The darkness becomes thicker,
heavier,
unbearable...
And the combining rhythm 

of the silence with the roaring sky becomes
more intense,
Playing games with my sanity
and enjoying their bullying
with my fragile emotions
 my fear starts to grow rapidly.

I rush to open the curtains
only to find that the outside
is as dark and lonely as the inside.

Where's everyone?

Where are my children's voices calling out to me?

Where's my mother's laughter that I loved to hear so much?

Where is the singing of the birds?

Where has life gone?
Am I the only one left in the world?

Or is this how it feels to be dead in a hell of loneliness?

I am afraid for the first time in my life
 of this solitude thatI am feeling.

The house feels bigger and colder
as I go room by room

opening doors
in search of something...
anything...

but I don't know what I am really looking for.

Where are my children...

Where is my mother...

Where are all those happy moments
that gave this house life?

Why am I afraid every time I open each door?

Is it because I know what I will find inside...

NOTHING!

And "nothing" is something so cruel and terrifying to find.

As a sense of defeat overwhelms me,
my steps start to feel heavier and heavier.
It is as if I am dragging bricks tied up to my ankles
and walking against the waves of a monstrous ocean.

I no longer have the strength to fight
and I surrender!

Carelessly, I drop my weak body to the floor

making a loud "plop" sound that echoes through the house
as I hit the floor hard.

I lay there by the window for what seems an eternity

allowing the fear of the darkness and loneliness to consume me completely.

Chirp... chirp....
I hear a singing bird in the distance.

It is the sound of
HOPE
that has come to let me know that this cannot be the end.
I sit up
and wipe the tears off from my face as I look up to the dark sky outside,

and a sense of strength and hope once again starts to grow inside me.

And I then realize it could only be
HIM
that has come to sit with me and hold me while the storm passes.

And I say...
"Thank you God!"

- Lori Novo


Dear readers, this is something I wrote yesterday but wasn't sure if it was appropriate for this blog.
However, I decided to share it with you after my son and a friend of mine encouraged me to do so.
It is a moment I experienced yesterday during a thunderstorm.
Writing down my feelings and fears,
my joys and dreams is what I love to do, but rarely do I get the courage to make it public.
I usually keep this type of writings in my private blog.

"This is my favorite one from all your writings mom!"
This is what my son said to me after reading it.
My son is my biggest fan and he's always high- five(ing) me when he reads my writings
and sees my Second Life photography. He loves writing just as much as I do or even more.
His plans for the future are to become a screenwriter /director. In fact,
he has already written a short story when he was still in the 5th grade
and now he is writing his first screenplay at age 17. He makes me so proud.

Besos Everyone!
❤