The night is cold and I feel so scared...
I feel so lonely...
so lonely and scared.
Oh, how I wish I could open my arms
and be able to fly like a bird to my mother's side.
But she's so far away and I am only nine...
Mami I need you so much!
Still, a lot of cold days of hunger and despair await me before I see you again.
Mami why did you send me away?
I know you say that is for my own good so I can have a better life.
But mami I need you, I want to feel the warmth of your hug.
It is so cold here, I was given just a single blanket
to cover my shivering little body in the winter nights.
I go to bed every night with my stomach crying...
mami I don't eat much. If these people only knew
that when they send me to the market to get the meat they are going to eat,
I steal tiny pieces on the way back. I eat it raw... I am so hungry.
Don't worry mami I am good, I don't take much, but if they only knew...
I am so scared, I hope they don't notice missing the tiny pieces I took.
Mami I sit most nights up on the rooftop when everyone sleeps.
My tiny body shivers, not only because of the cold winter
but because I feel so unloved. And many times I have wondered.,
"If I jump will God give me the bird wings to fly?"...
Mami I want to fly to you.
Can you feel it in your heart?
My heart is screaming to you, please come save me
from the old man that the other children call grandpa
and that is so sweet to them.
Mami the grandpa touches me and hurts me...
I am so scared. But now I know what to do mami, you would be so proud.
I run and hide behind the big dog that is chained in the back.
He barks at the grandpa and won't let him near me and I feel safe.
I sleep sometimes with him, in his big yellow dog house,
he is my best friend here.
On a good day mami, the nuns from the convent that is a few blocks away
will give me an apple... I love apples, they are a feast for me.
But I go to them when the family is busy and won't notice I am gone.
I always hurry, they can't find out I have been gone....
I better hurry, I am running back so fast, I can still taste the apple....
I am smiling inside....
Oh, mami they caught me...
please grown-ups don't hit me so hard. I am only nine and I was so hungry...
mami it hurts so much!
It is morning now, I have cried all night and my body is aching..
dying but I must get up. Body please get up!!!
I need to help the mom clean this big old house.
Every day I clean and clean, I want some rest.
Why can't I play with the other children?
I want to play.
I watch them play and laugh from far away.
Mami please tell me, why can't I play with them?
Is it because I am a bad girl or because I look dirty and my shoes are torn?
Mami I want to play.
Mami today is the first day I feel so happy, they are taking me back to you.
Goodbye my dear doggie for all your love and protection,
tonight I will sleep with my mami.
No more cleaning, no more cold nights, and hunger.
I can now start being a little girl.
Mami you look so pretty,
just like an angel,
I feel so good in your arms. I am smiling...
I can't stop smiling... thank you, my dear God.
What?!!!
No mami don't let them take me away again. I've been here with you only for a few hours,
I want to stay. Mami I am holding on to you so tight, but they are pulling me away...
no mami if you only knew... but they told me not to say. Can't you see it in my face?
My tears are screaming, please mami I don't want to go back.
Please don't cry mami...
look I'll go with them again, just don't cry mami...everything is ok.
Goodbye mami, I'll see you in a year again.
The night is cold and I am so hungry...
I feel so scared and I am only nine.
It's ok God if you don't give me the bird wings I wanted to fly,
mami will only send me back again to them. I don't want to make her cry,
I want to make her proud, So I'll just pretend.
A sad childhood memory....
With all my love for my mom <333
